The Doll Soapie was originally posted on Instagram on @kenoffinland´s account as a side story between the years 2014 and 2017.
Part 13
Jason has become very popular in the social media. Everyone loves the tiny Elvis.
Taylor and Brigitte meet Leea and Kari at the Cafe Indigo to discuss about the future of the reality show King's Descendants.
- We want to find out if Mama Filia really is who she claims to be. That old home movie was convincing, but we need scientific proofs. We need DNA samples! Bring us the samples, Taylor. From all of them, Filia, Geordie and Afrodite.
After two days Taylor delivers something to Teea. Getting the DNA samples from the Greek family was an easy task for her.
- Here they are... Afrodite's hair, Filia's cigarette and Geordie's sperm.
- That's disgusting, Teea replies.
- How will you get Elvis's DNA? Wouldn't you need it to make the comparison? Taylor asks.
- We have our connections in the US. Leave now, we'll be in touch, Teea says.
- Excellent. Still one more thing to do... Kari, get it done tomorrow, ok?
- Will do, Leea.
The director Kari is visiting Taylor, which makes her really pleased. Taylor has a secret crush on him. You must have noticed the hair: it´s just like Ridge Forrester´s!
Little Jason isn't too interested in Kari, he just likes to suck his microphone.
Taylor's heart beats a few extra times when she watches this handsome and very very very successful man bond with Jason.
- Would you like to taste some meringue, big guy? We can't let mummy eat them all and loose her beautiful figure, can we.
- You are so funny, I would never eat them, Taylor giggles like a stupid fan girl.
When Kari leaves, Taylor puts a stop on sweets.
- That's enough Jason! Let's give these to Filia. She's already as fat as a pig!
When walking to his car, Kari takes something out of his pocket and thinks:
- Mission accomplished. Now we are ready for the DNA tests.
On today's episode Taylor is amusing the tv audience by trying to convince Mama Filia to replace the cigarette with some meringue.
- Eat this you witch! Sugary sweets won't give you lung cancer! Oh, wait, as if I cared!
One day when Ritva is just about to go out and ice skating, Veli and Ulla stop her.
- Stay with us today! You have to see this! The DNA test results are there!!!!
Veli and Ulla are more than excited.
Taylor and Brigitte are hiding in the bathroom with the DNA test result documents.
Brigitte:
- Oh fuck!!!! Filia didn't lie! She is his daughter!
Taylor:
- I was pretty sure she's a fraud! Damn!
Brigitte:
- This is so awesome! Now we know that Jason really is related to Elvis Presley! Think about the money he will inherit! You are going to be a rich woman Taylor!!!!
Suddenly their joy turns into a shock!
- What the hell, Taylor?! Brigitte asks and shows Taylor the last papers in the pile.
Veli and Ulla are amazed! Veli shouts:
- No way!!!! The kid isn't Geordie's!!!!
Kultu says quietly:
- Are you actually surprised to hear that?
Taylor throws herself into Brigitte's arms and cries:
- This can't go public!!!! We don't have hidden cameras here in the bathroom, do we? Nobody will know!!!!
Veli is totally blown away with these news. But Ulla is laughing:
- ROFL!!!! Of course you have cameras there, we all know now! What a fraud! She tried to trick them all, that stupid bitch! RIP Taylor!!!!
Kultu:
- Watch your mouth Ulla!
Now that it's obvious that Geordie is not Jason's father, Brigitte advices Taylor to talk about it to the poor man. Taylor disagrees:
- Why should I say anything?! I didn't want to tell him I'm pregnant in the first place anyway! It was you who called him!
- Shut it Taylor! He needs to know. You have no option but to confront him!
Taylor is horrified and can hardly speak through her tears. She's afraid of Geordie's reaction. And Geordie can't believe what he's hearing:
- You have fooled me all this time?!
- Not on purpose! You could have been the father as well as anyone...
- Mother of Christ! This is disgusting!!!!
Afrodite overhears the arguing and sneaks in. Her brother is overwhelmed by all the emotions going through his heart:
- I moved to this fucking cold and dark country because of your lies! You cunt! My mom moved here! And my sister! We left everything behind because of Jason! And I have loved him like a son of my own! And now you are telling me it was all a fraud! What kind of a manipulative bitch you are?!
Afrodite is in shock. She storms outside where Mama Filia is smoking her third cigarette in a row. When Filia hears the news she starts shouting and screaming like only a Greek woman can. It's our luck that we can't understand a word of it!
When Filia enters the room Taylor is already on the floor acting like a drama queen. With Taylor crying, Geordie moaning and Filia screaming this is all very entertaining to the loyal viewers of the King's Descendants.
Geordie puts his head down on his mother's chest and weeps like a child. And like a decent Greek mother, Filia is always there for her son. Nobody hurts a son of a Greek woman without a punishment!
Filia smacks Taylor with her purse! Hard!
But when Filia swings her bag she loses her balance and falls down! Wait, what was that... Did you hear that too? I think it was the sound of her old osteoporotic bones cracking!
Yes, Filia broke several bones in her legs and arm. She's stuck in the hallway bunk bed and her daughter takes care of her.
It´s time for a family meeting. The Greeks decide that as soon as Filia is better again they will all return to Greece. It was a hard decision for Geordie, who is really fond of wee Jason. And also of all the blonde Scandinavian women... But blood is thicker than other bodily fluids... If Mama leaves, Geordie leaves.
The doorbell rings. It's Leea and Kari. Taylor feels more than uncomfortable with them entering her apartment... After all the Greeks still don't know anything about the reality show they are starring.
Leea introduces herself to the Greek family and hands them checks.
- It's been a great season! You've all been great! Finland thanks you greatly, she says.
Afrodite and Geordie get confused. Mama Filia naturally can't understand a word. Taylor on the other hand understands even too well. She is about to turn hysterical.
- I'm doomed!!!! she thinks. - Why did they have to come here?
When Kari and Leea leave the house, they give Taylor her share of the payment and tell her to stop by at the office.
- We'll talk about the next season. The viewing rates are still rising. Just make sure the Greeks stay with you. No crazy family, no show.
Geordie demands an explanation:
- Who were these people? Why did they give us such huge amounts of money?
- Um... They were the social workers... That's just your unemployment benefits and Filia's pension...
- No way the social benefits can be this high! Now Geordie gets suspicious.
Taylor thinks that a little white lie never hurts anyone and continues:
- I told you that in Finland we have an awesome social welfare system, didn't I! The government wants to give extra to families that have many generations under the same roof. They are trying to encourage people to take care of their elders and... um... breed a lot of kids... eh... Because we have too many old people and too few health care staff in this country... You know how the retirement homes are full and the birth rates lower than ever.
Geordie, Filia and Afrodite are thrilled:
- Goodbye forever homeland! We're staying in Finland! And that social worker said this was for this season only! So does it mean that we will get the same checks again next year?! All our dreams will come true! Hurrah Finland! We are here to show you how to raise a big family with grandparents and many children! Keep the money coming and we will be fertile and fill the earth!
Geordie gives Jason a hug and says:
- Related or not, looks like you and me are going to stay together, big boy! And when you grow up and have kids of your own, you can all live with us! I bet Finland will pay us millions if we have four generations living together! So, keep practicing those Elvis the Pelvis moves of yours and one day the ladies will be lining up for you!